A new me in ‘You’ Lord!I seperated my companion & divorced him, For another man’s pleasure and indulged in sin, What God had bonded together, In a disgraceful manner I did asunder! Adultery, lust and fornication, Committed all filth & entered a world of pain, There was nothing I have not done that I should not do, What a path of destruction I was walking through! Went through harassments, agony & torture, Nothing much was left to face more! A few minutes of lust and passion, Had changed my destiny’s direction, A few seconds of sexual pleasure, Had turned me into a whore! In the midst of destruction I realized my folly, …it was beyond repair, too late to tally! Ignorant of my life’s tuning in this dirty game, For this filthy relation I started searching a name… Little did I knew that in this bargain I was fueling my sons emotional pain! To cover my face from public embarrassment, My wicked mind plotted a wicked scheme… And in torturous empty state of despair, Married this man and faced the vanity fair! Lost, vacuum and an empty relationship… Based on adultery, cheating lust and sin, Was covered with a mask of marital bliss! ..and applying Mathew 19:6 from the word, I knew I was cheating the whole world! My own pride and ego had strike me so much, I was forcing myself to believe in this muck, That the torture I’m going through is ‘OK’… Or else I’ll be a sinner, as fool and so fake! Now where do I go? Where do I wander? What God has united, I shouldn’t have asunder, I’m punishing myself by stoutly facing the tortures, All filth & guilt, no blows on a false warrior! Here goes my heart into pieces and fire, When I see my son’s lost life desires! His empty eyes searching for a hand to hold, His vacuum heart craving for that hug a secure hold! I knew not I was turned into a chronic murderer, Every day I saw myself killing my sons emotional desires! Now I stand firm and face the only Holy Power, And acknowledge that I’m that wretched filthy sinner! My God welcomed me back into His loving embrace, I am indeed saved by His Love and Grace! Today I know, my tomorrow will not be the same, For my Saviour has acknowledged all my pain! Now I will live again, hope again, dream again! My Lord is holding me …here I’m born again! - Sharmila Borkar ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
This is in 2007 …I got a wonderful job and lost it in 15 days and was jobless for 4 months with a huge loan & 6 credit cards, single mother with a school going son. I almost gave up hope and wanted to run away from Dubai, it was at this time Christ Jesus lifted me up, not only lifted me up but put me much high!As I was about to loose my job, Through God’s grace I got another job. Boasting in Lord name Loud, I gave my testimony to the crowd! I lost the job in 15 days, To Almighty God my situation I raised! I was without a job for 4 months….. emotionally strained, financially drained, drowned in the repayment of a huge loan Debts & 4 credit cards overgrown, Plus, my sons needs & school fees, food rent & other crises ……….. In the midst of this thick & dense fog, I could only see God love! The more I prayed, the less I went astrayed, The more I went for prayer meetings, Satan’s plans were diminishing The more I praised & worshipped the Lord, the dirty devil got bored, Every time I read the bible…. Gods unfailing love became more visible! Every day my faith renewed, to Gods promises my trust was tuned! Neither words nor world could shake my trust! For Jesus is my sure Salvation, the first & the last. My church fellowship & worship and the dear Pastors pleas, My mother’s tears & my son’s prayers never ceased, My Saviour hugged me and my fears ran away I surrendered & said, let it be done to me as you say! NOW, I got good job better then before… A Government company with a salary much more!!!! You may wonder why God permitted this suffering. He did this so that I would look for HIM & find HIM through experiencing HIM! -Sharmila Borkar ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————— …to be continued!